My New Year’s resolution is to be sure to follow all avenues of possibility. What better way to do that than with a double-headed dildo?

Since I am one to take my resolutions seriously, I chose to purchase a double-headed dildo with a very austere sounding name, the “Vac-U-Lock Natural Double Penetrator.”

I prefer dildos that are more on the realistic side, so the front part of this double dildo is ideal because it is six inches long and an inch and a half round. Of course I would probably run and scream (but maybe try to blow both at once) if confronted with a penis with a little Siamese twin style buddy. But toys enable reality to meet fantasy, and my fantasies involve my g-spot being stimulated from both sides. So a double dildo is perfecto.

The little buddy side of Vac-U-Lock is curved for anal comfort and small enough to squeeze in perfectly.

I truly believe that purchasing the Vac-U-Lock Natural Double Penetrator will make me have a better 2007. I hope this toy or another makes your time in your birthday suit a little tighter.

Happy New Year!

It has happened to all of us. Well, most of us, and the number of times it has happened to me more than makes up for any that it hasn’t happened to. It is the embarrassing vibrator appearance.

Whether it is due to children jumping around on the bed, a mischievous pet digging through the closet, or a vengeful ex, it sucks (and not in a pleasurable manner). So how do you hide the naughty vibrator? You don’t. You get one in disguise.

The classic disguise is the rubber ducky. It can be out and about in the bathroom décor, but if any grubby paws get a hold of it you can squeal that it’s a collectible. That usually gets the curious off without gossip, and after washing your ducky you can get yourself off as well.

You can find it under modern vibes at sexshopcanada.com

This is an oldie but a goodie. The Bracli thong was made a public knowledge by its cameo on Sex in the City. Whatever year this style came out, decades ago, it sums up one fact: lace and pearls on sexy, even more so on the sexier parts of your body.

This thong, with real pearls, is imported from Spain and available in black, white and my favorite, red.

If $70 (Bracli thong’s price) is a little more than you were planning to spend on yourself this season, then maybe the Rumba bra and boy-short, at $40, would be more to your wallet size. Whatever your reason this cute little pink outfit calls for a sizeable dance. Imagine how your lover will love you shaking these ruffles so much your rumba could cause a hand to slip into those folds . . .

Pink PPA

This is one of out most popular toys. We are almost out of stock in this classic, six inch, pink fiber penis extension. Its shape and size are a ideal aide to group situations. It can also be attached to the other end of a dildo to make it double headed.

Tight Stuff Oil

This oil is used both as a lubricant and because it causes the vagina to contract. That’s right, it is a kegel improver, and the price is great.

Cupid Pillow Bundle

This decorative pillow is designed to hide your sex toys. By using the pillow you both keep them right where you want them, and hide them, all at once.

Silicone Triple Orgasm
Yeah, it’s true; this baby delivers a triple delight! This cock ring has a vibrator for the clitoris and for the anus, as well as having some stimulating bumps around the ring. It is the triple O. Stuff this in a stocking an then put it on whatever you stuff into you, be it flesh or dildo.

Clone-A-Willy Kit
Want to let him know that you think his willy is the king schlong? Do it with this kit, by making a dildo in the exact proportions of his hard penis. You can have your favorite penis in multiple holes during the same lovemaking (the real one in your mouth, the other in your pussy a whole new level to the 69). A vibrator can be inserted to make the toy more fun.

Santa Wrapped in the Misses
Who needs mistletoe to hump? Mr. and Mrs. Clause certainly don’t. Think of all the other angles these chubbies could get to when wrapped around a present. They need your help, so buy a dildo, dome condoms or some massage oil and wrap it up. If you hand your lover something in this paper, it might not make it under the tree . . .

Multi Talented?
So there are a lot of clitoral stimulators that are trying to master vibration and suction. I must admit, I haven’t found one that I feel works well, and this is not exception. The sucker must be positioned perfectly, as well as the vibrating egg, and then the pump must be squeezed. . . This toy is not a solo project. It could work with a lover that is well versed in toy use, but for a newbie it will be confusing and entangling, but not in a good way.

Sensual
Feel like getting naughty with some porn, but not sure you want just fuck, fuck, suck, suck? Then check out Jesse’s Secret Desires. More on the softcore side this movie has a full-fledged storyline, giving it more of a romantic feel. Buy it with Danni’s Busty Gifts. They are on special as a pair for $44.90. Even if not for the sale, this nudity only movie featuring Danni is considered playfully romantic, by me and more . . .

Instructive
It wasn’t too long ago that good old Sir Rodney wrote something up about Nina Hartley, and her nursing student turned porn star turned sexual educator persona. She’s been penning some books, and her new found attention reminded me of one of my favorite instructional flicks: Nina Hartley’s Guide to G-Spot Sex. This movie can be bought in a pair with Nina Hartley’s Guide to Better Cunnilingus another one I enjoy, but I prefer giving my own instructions for that action . . .

In a world where a dildo must be as veined and balled as a real penis, or have a little twist at the end suggesting it has a trick up its shaft, the Hole Patrol Nightstick is refreshingly simple, with an S&M feel. A product design from the gay movie Hole Patrol, it is obviously built to look like a night-stick, makin it easier to insert in every orifice. This can feed some freaky fantasies, especially is a little police costume is involved.

In contrast to the Hole Patrol is the Cyberskin Cinnamon Cyber Cock. This is the essential realistic dildo. The average penis is six to eight inches (hard) and an inch to two inches in diameter. This dildo measures in at seven inches and an inch and a half round. Cyberskin, for those who don’t know, is designed to feel very skin like. Complete with balls, this dildo simulates the real thing, to bring around the real O.

I’ll say that these characters are handmade figurines of people you may want to tell to shove it up their ass. Well, shoving their likeness up your ass and getting-off on it is probably more of an insult.

Currently the figurines include characters resembling Gibson, Bush and Hilton. They promise more are coming and are trying to start an image gallery that illustrates how these little sculptures can be best used . . . what diversity of photos they expect I don’t know. If someone was to use these butt-plugs as chess pieces are they disgusting or creative? On a similar note, if you shove a chess piece in your butt are you sick, un-godly horny, or really frustrated with the game . . .

What’s better than a new sex toy? New sex toys on sale. Here’s a few steals in the Booble store:

Strawberry Hemp Oil: Everybody’s muscles need a little rubbing now and then. Put a hippie twist on the classical sensual massage with strawberry scented hemp massage oil. It’s cheap at $7.98. Light some patchouli incense and let the dancing bears guide you to ecstasy . . .

Astro. Vibrator:
I’m not completely sure I buy into the whole astrology thing, but it is the first thing I read in the newspaper. This is a good basic vibrator, no matter what your sign is.

Hot Hustler Hat:
So there are also hustler t-shirts on sale, but this hat just screams attitude in a fashionably hick-gone-accidentally-hip manner.

The $22 Cock:
This is a good price for a realistic cock, but the material is a little too hard (if there can be such a thing). The realism of their image makes me want something more like a real penis in texture . . .

Glowing Bath:
If candles add romance, then glowing body paint adds spunk. Spunk up your sex with glowing body gel, massage oil, and more, all in this one kit.